How to Discuss Intimacy Issues with Your Doctor
Before or After Treatment for Major Illnesses Like Cancer
Q. How can patients take the initiative in asking doctors to address their intimacy concerns?
- Become an active member of your healthcare team.
- Formulate your medical and intimacy questions before visiting your doctor.
- Start with “Doc, could you address some (very) personal questions I/we have?”
- Make sure your spouse or partner is present from the “get-go”, as your illness is not just your concern. It’s a “couple’s disease.”
- Request an appointment lasting more than 10 minutes.
- Review effective pills, creams or devices for enhancing erections, including a penile implant (men), or breast reconstruction or ways to enhance vaginal and vulvar responsiveness (women), and review your capacity for reaching orgasm.
- Discuss the advisability of Testosterone Replacement Therapy (men) or Estrogen Therapy (women) to raise your sexual desire (libido), improve muscle tone and add a sense of well-being.
- Ask for a referral to a qualified intimacy/love coach, sexuality counselor or therapist.
Q. What guidance can men expect from a doctor to restore urinary continence as another way to help reignite intimacy?
Specifically ask your doctor to review the emotional and sexual impact of potential or actual long-term incontinence, asking what physical steps you can take to “stem the tide,” such as:
- Voiding before sexual intimacy, and doing Kegel exercise
- Depending on Depends® or newer products like Wearever® underwear … or not!
- Sling surgery for stress incontinence or inflatable artificial sphincter surgery
